My heart is heavy with sadness as I attempt to read the descriptions of the children and adults that were murdered this week. I find that my body is backing away from the page, as if the distance created would somehow help me to gain a sliver of detachment from the reality. My thoughts become as the skimmed page of a book I just cannot bear to read fully.
...Evil
...Those sweet little kids
... innocence lost
...terrorists among us
...Oh no, this child already experienced the weight of his parents' divorce and now
... blood
... huddled in a closet
...his mother. His mother. HIS mother. His MOTHER
...Oh dear Lord, how
... forgiveness
...Why do reporters insist on interviewing the grieving?
...how will they
...The sheer numbers of people personally affected by this horror
...pure evil
...If there is a face of Satan, this is it
And suddenly my thoughts gain clarity. In my deep heartache, words of truth illuminate my mind and my heart begins to lighten ...
oh, he is on the prowl ...
But God has won the victory
and one day we will be reunited!
And there will be no tears, no sorrows, no pain and no suffering. Every tear will be wiped away, and there will be rejoicing ... and mourning will flee!
But we are here; the pain is here. Even though I can't seem to allow myself to rest on any one of my fractured thoughts
for longer than a second, I am suddenly taken in by an image of absolute sweetness. Her eyes emanate a surety, a peace, a kind of frank acceptance, and I dwell on the question of what she saw. What she heard. How one so sweet, so innocent, so pure, could be murdered in cold blood. And I grieve. I grieve for her, for her family, for her classmates, for their families, for the teachers, staff, all the other students, especially the other students.
What a
tremendous loss to all of us, these lives. Our hearts are heavy.
Come Lord, come to save us! You who are the King, who came to earth as a little babe. You who took on the flesh of mortals, who bore pain, suffering, ridicule and rejection. You who were afflicted with every temptation, yet did not sin. You who died for us. You who rose for us. And you who are coming back for us! Remove the veil of our hearts, O Lord, and Come Lord, come to save us!
