Onward I tread

I haven't been out of the country, nor have I been lost at sea. Why I have not posted in two years could continue to escape me, but if I think about it for all of a minute or so, I could tell you why. 


It is hard for me to write. It is hard to put on paper (or screen) what I am feeling or thinking because it becomes so... so... p-e-r-m-a-n-e-n-t. Oh, I know that my writing could be altered. It could be changed, it could be adapted, it could even be stolen. But there is something about committing one's thoughts and feelings to paper that makes them more defined, and makes me feel more vulnerable. 


I titled my blog "Veiled Magnificence" and had a lot of excitement and expectation that I would write very often, and that I would be able to find the magnificence in daily life with hardly any effort, and that I would share very deep, wise, and sublime insights with any readers that happened to cross the path of my blog. I think that the more that I focused on trying to meet that expectation of myself, the less I found to write about.

Some days I could not find magnificence -- veiled or otherwise. I didn't want to write on those days, because I felt that if that were the case, then something was wrong with my perspective, and I should make sure that gets corrected before trying to post something .... hmmm ... I don't think that any longer! 
It's mind boggling in some ways that two years, almost to the day, have passed since I last wrote. My last entry was about my daughter Bernadette's graduation from GVSU. Since then, a lot has happened! I would like to try to recount some of the highlights and lowlights, so will work toward that goal. 


Should you happen upon this entry, thank you for reading, and for being patient as I stumble along!

Jesus Come to Earth as Man.

Jesus, the Messiah;
son of God, son of Mary.
Emmanuel, Redeemer, King!
Hope for the world; Joy of man's desire.
Prince of peace,
Word made flesh.

What magnificence veiled
as a child - a little baby.

Let us this season keep our hearts open
to see the truth of God's incredible love for mankind.

Who am I that my Lord should come to me?

That he would humble himself
and become man,
one like us,
to bring us to the Father.

Jesus - Giver of life - Lover of my soul - Come quickly!

Happy Spring!

Every morning I am awakened by the beautiful song of the many winged creatures that dwell in the surrounding trees, bushes, and foliage. Spring is such a wonderful time of year! Sometimes I think that I don't like living in Michigan because the winters are so hard, but when spring comes . . . I am delirious! Somehow I just don't think that spring would feel as it does if it hadn't followed a winter such as we have. Don't get me wrong. The dull, grey, short days of winter can bring on a melancholy that shrouds my very life, it seems. But on those days that I am able to raise my eyes above, and put my attention on invisible realities, I am lifted from my lethargy and infused with a joyful desire to love my creator and his creation. Instead of seeing the dark, cold, bitter side of things, I can be drawn to His inner warmth, which sparkles out of me, almost unknowingly!

And I am glad that for now winter is over, and spring is here.

Beauty

As I look out the window, admiring the breathtaking landscape of color that the Artist has created, my heart swells with a longing to be out in the woods, sketch pad and pencils in hand, to capture just a breath of the beauty. A treasure that would be, I'm sure, when the long winter months come and I'm feeling gloomy and all seems grey. Where does this longing come from? In my memory, I have never done such a thing, but it still beckons me like a floating balloon waiting to be caught but always just out of my reach. This, to me, is quite a wonder. Is it from my heart? My soul? My spirit? My flesh? Someday I want to learn more about each of those parts of the human. What an inexhaustible study that would be!!!

I don't anticipate winter with very much joy. I prefer autumn with its brisk breeze, the flying leaves, the crisp bite to the air, the smell of burning wood, the sight of your exhale. Have you ever thought about a constant autumn? An oxymoron, isn't it. That's worth thinking about, and I will most likely be devoting part of my thoughts to that question while doing my chores today. I bet there are some parallels that can be drawn between the spiritual life of a man and the seasons of the year. I bet that parallel has already been drawn numerous times, but it is still something worth thinking about! Or researching . . . : )

Well, if I am not careful, I will be spending my day thinking, praying, researching and maybe even writing, but that's not what I'm supposed to do today. My vocation is my priority, and although cleaning bathrooms, making doctor appointments, washing clothes, and working on projects in the home doesn't sound as glamorous to me today, it is what I am called to do, so do it I will! I hope you have the opportunity to see the Artist's hand at work around you and in you, because you are a beautiful creation.

HUMILITY

You know, it is SO HARD sometimes to ask God for help in those small everyday things...
"Please help me with my attitude"
"Please help me to do what I'm supposed to do even though I don't FEEL like it"
"Please help me to pray for this person that I'm so frustrated with, and help me to understand them"
"Please show me some light on this situation which seems impossible"

but I don't really know why, because I ALWAYS get the grace when I ask for it. I guess the truth is that at times I really don't want to change. I just want what I want. Hmmmm....it comes down to humility, doesn't it. I guess Fr. Dan is right. : )

Surprised

Veiled Magnificence
I was recently struck by the reality of how our decisions can impact those around us.

On my way home from work yesterday, Dave's mom called to see if I could help her get Dan and his car home to Detroit. Dan recently had surgery on his shoulder and it would not have been prudent for him to drive. Happy to have a way to support them, yet a little anxious about how I was going to get my household chores done, I arrived home to let the kids know I would be heading right back out. I was greeted with a pleasant surprise! Tony and Jacquie had taken it upon themselves to declutter and clean the main floor, their own bedrooms, and some other areas of the house. Because of their actions, I was able to peacefully help Dan and Mom, and even enjoy their company a bit longer than I otherwise would have, and still make it home in time for dinner.

Each day, we are invited to love. The daily, seemingly insignificant choices that we each make to follow through with an impulse of generosity or compassion, or to listen and respond to the still, small voice that inspires us to take an action of love, are the threads which are used to weave beautiful coverings of mercy, uniting humanity into brotherhood.

Dan, Mom, Tony, Jacquie, myself, (and I'm sure others known to God alone), were encouraged, built up, and blessed by the choices each of us made that day. Writing this helps me to remember that no act of charity is useless. By the grace of God alone, will every thought and action be an additional thread in the beautiful comforter of mercy.

Is it really July?

Growing Older
I am still amazed. It is actually July of 2008. I will be turning 50 this year, and can hardly believe it! Inside, I still feel like "me". Somehow I thought my personality would change with age, or that I would become less of the "me" that I always knew and more of a stranger to myself. I don't know why I thought that, but I have to tell you that it is incredibly fun to age, and still be "me!"

Of course on the flip side of this, it is incredibly daunting to realize that I am still "me." Although I'm comforted by the security of being myself, I'm a little bummed about the insecurities that still assail me and apparently will continue! The temptations I struggle with seem to be always with me, like a "thorn in my side." But I will press on, because I know that God is merciful, just, and just plain --- love. Now how can I complain about that???

Touched by Love

I just have to tell you this story. I bought two dozen beautiful roses, a very pretty and uncommon orangish-red color to have in honor of Jacquie's Confirmation. I arranged them in a vase with some baby's breath, and went to bed. In the morning, every one of them had died! Every one of their heads had drooped down. I've never been able to resurrect flowers when they've been in that state, even if I trimmed the stems and watered and fed them. I was going to return them to the store, then realized that I had forgotten to put water in the vase! So it was my fault. I decided to pray. I asked the Lord to give me a sign that he hears my prayers, and that he loves my kids, and that since he created flowers in the first place, I knew it was no difficulty for him to bring these back to life, and if he would please do that, it would really be a sign of love to me. I put water in the vase (no trimming or feeding, though), and went about my business. Here's what he did for us!

Needless to say, I got down on my knees and thanked him. I felt very loved! They lived for 2 1/2 weeks, and never drooped again, just died standing straight up!